I generally muse about the political, social and cultural life in America but sometimes I see or read something beyond our shores that has me shaking my head.  Stories about the “Royals” are an example.

First of all, let me say that I haven’t a clue why people are so fascinated with the English royal family.  Yes, I know who Queen Elizabeth II is and I know who her husband is and I know who her children are and I know who her father was, etc. etc., but I have no interest in knowing about their every move 24/7.  Yet, by the number of covers on magazines and tabloids at every supermarket, I’m in the minority.  People must be absolutely intrigued by their comings and goings, hence the paparazzi who follow these people around try desperately to get that one shot that will earn them big bucks.

I know that Prince William and Kate Middleton (the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge) are married and that she’s pregnant.  (How can I not know when this seems to have been the topic of speculation for months and now confirmed.)  I have to say though that every time I see a photo of Kate I want to scream “eat something….please!” I know if I ever came face-to-face with her and said that in my normally loud Brooklyn-accented voice, she, being so thin, would probably just blow away.

That being said, the paparazzi took topless photos of Kate and she and her hubby are obviously upset over them.  “Their Royal Highnesses have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and a photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner. … Their Royal Highnesses had every expectation of privacy in the remote house. It is unthinkable that anyone should take such photographs, let alone publish them.”

That was a couple of months ago.  Now that Kate is pregnant, the paparazzi again photographed her wearing a bikini on a beach and they’re, again, up in arms over the publication of the photos.  According to “Palace representatives,” they described the violation of the couple’s rights as “grotesque” and “unjustifiable.”  I’ve seen the photos and she’s so thin, she doesn’t even look pregnant and I couldn’t see any “baby bump.”  (Who coined that stupid expression anyway?)

Then, of course, we have Harry, that fun-loving, Nazi-costumed younger brother of William, whose recent fame of strip billiards resulted in naked photos of him being published.   Here’s what he had to say.  “At the end of the day, I was in a private area and there should be a certain amount of privacy…The way I was treated… I don’t think is acceptable.”

Well, here’s advice for the “Royals” from a commoner.  If you want to go topless, make sure you have four walls around you, a roof over your head, and a solid floor under your feet.  Be sure that the only people in that room with you are people without cell phones or cameras.  Some people are interested in your every move.  Live with it or get out of the sun or using a tanning bed or spray it on.  You will continue to be photographed whether you like it or not.

If you don’t want to be photographed in a bikini, then don’t wear one.  Back in my day, pregnant women never wore bikinis.  Ever since Demi Moore did her pregnant naked cover back in 1991 for Vanity Fair, it seems as if every celebrity can’t wait for the chance to flaunt her big belly.  If you don’t want to be photographed like that, cover up!  It’s that easy.

As for Harry, thinking you’re in a “private” area is ridiculous.  When you get young people and, no doubt, booze in the same room, you’re going to have stupid stuff happen and if you don’t think that people are waiting for you to make a fool out of yourself, then you really should re-think your options because you’re really not bright enough to be in the real world.

Bottom line:  If people weren’t interested, there would be no paparazzi.

I don’t get it, but if you do, God bless you.