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I’ve written before about the results and consequences facing children who are born out of wedlock.  The whole “I don’t need to be married in order to have a child” lifestyle, encouraged by the example of numerous celebrities who the media glorify, will continue to have an enormous negative impact on society.  Legitimate studies already show that women who have children outside of marriage are less educated, are less likely to achieve monetary security and more likely to live in poverty.  Their children are destined for a similar fate.  These statistics, of course, don’t apply to celebrities who’ve chosen to live this way and, of course, have the means to support themselves and their children.

This unmarried with children lifestyle also contributes to the never-ending devaluation of men in our society.  I’ve also written numerous times that men, on television today, are depicted as superfluous, low achieving buffoons who simply take up space in the household.  Because this characterization is so prevalent in sitcoms and is a reflection of society, I’m guessing this depiction of men is supposed to be humorous, but I find it incredibly sad and demeaning, having been raised during a time when television showed men to be strong, smart supporters, both emotionally and financially, of their families.  Those days are long gone and now men are seen to be mere incidental inseminators.

Sadly, available statistics show that more and more children are being born out of wedlock and the problems, for society, will continue to grow and in ways many of us may not have foreseen.

While I’ve been aware of the obvious consequences, i.e., the inevitable life of poverty and no education for these women and children, I hadn’t realized an unexpected consequence that will befall these families.  Last month, I read an article in the WSJ entitled, “Seeking Clues to Heart Risk in a Patient’s Family Tree.”

Doctors are now focusing on the value of knowing a patient’s family history of cardiovascular illness in order to provide preventive care for their patients.  Scorecards for cardiac risk consider things like whether a patient’s mother or father had a heart attack and at what age.

When I think of my 20+ year experience in the foster care system dealing with abused and neglected children, the whole idea of parentage is pretty much a black hole.  I regularly saw unwed mothers come into court for their first hearing who could not provide the court with any information about the identity of the father.

I routinely heard a woman run down a litany of possible contenders for fatherhood, many of whom would have nothing more than a first name.  Forget having information about the man’s last name, his birth date, his Social Security number, his address or any members of his family.  I’ve seen cases where three or four men actually showed up in court and, after hundreds of taxpayer dollars had been spent to conduct HLA/DNA testing, none of these guys had won the brass ring.

I’m still amazed each January 1st when I take a look at my new calendar and still see Father’s Day listed on the third Sunday of June.  It’s just a matter of time before that day is no longer celebrated.

So, because of the sexual revolution, the indoctrination of women with the belief that men are unnecessary, the glorification of motherhood without marriage, and the inevitable financial burdens put on society by this lifestyle as well as numerous other consequences, we will now have generations of people who have absolutely no idea of their ancestry and lineage and will be unable to assist their doctors in establishing risk factors throughout their lives.

I don’t get it, but if you do, God bless you.

 

 

 

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  • Leona Salazar you are a refreshing breath in the nightmare of foster care and I commend you and your tenacious efforts in making the lives of children better, children who have endured a childhood filled with nightmares that will last deep into their lives. Your article is spot on. In 1973 my mother, divorced and destitute decided it was time I become the financial supporter for her and my two half-sisters so she decided to tell me about my father in a letter I found one day after school. I recalled this man from the several times he came to visit until I was 8 and we moved away and now I was being told that not only was he my father but that I had to go to him for money. I had been abused weekly in the worst of ways from the time she married her ex until he walked out the previous year and now she wanted me to go to the man who allowed this to happen. The next morning as I left for school she stopped me and again told me it was my responsibility to care for the family by going to my father. Years later I learned why she wouldn’t do this and it goes all the way back to 1961 and the Dick Van Dyke show, Living in Pasadena she began to blackmail my father by going public. The sponsors of the show caught wind of this and canceled the show. Sheldon Leonard went to NY NY to convince the sponsors there was no such truth. Having done so the show continued but she was paid off and threatened.

    This can be seen on YouTube in a six part interview of Sheldon talking about his association with Danny Thomas. In the very last part and about the very last minute he talks about this and although he didn’t mention this was over me his eyes drift as he hesitates to talk any further about this. The interview and the words directed towards what happened had been the very last words ever recorded of him.
    Anyway as an angry child I protested and continued to stand my ground. The last words I ever heard from my mother had been as I walked away, “If you don’t go and get us money then you’re no good to me anymore and you don’t have a home, so don’t come back.” As I left for school she must have left for the court and by noon I had become , what is known in CA. and refereed to, if I can remember back that far, a 502, ward of the court. Within a short time two police found me, placed me in handcuffs and took me to jail. It was three days before I learned why I was there as I also learned that since I was now owned by the state this would be my new home until one was found for me. The only thing I now owned had been the letter my mother wrote me telling me who my father was which I kept hidden in my shoe and read to myself every night. The first time I ever saw my father on TV now knowing he was my father had been in there when the Danny Thomas Christmas special came on. This was the small town of Placerville which had no orphanage and only two foster homes in the entire El Dorado County with no beds available. In 1973 things were much different. Eventually I was placed in a home of what turned out to be a 62 year old man who gave each boy 2 joints of marijuana per day, 1 pack of cigarettes and 2 bears. Did I also mention he was a homosexual pedophile. There were 3 boys there and myself, each had issues, mine were emotional while 2 others suffered from cerebral palsy. Each night I could hear as he was molesting the disabled boys and eventually it came my nightly turn. Looking back he was a classic pedophile, he lived 20 miles out a one lane road with the nearest house being 3 miles away. So many times I either walked in 4 ft of snow the 20 miles to town and knock on the jail door or I’d stay in town after school and wait until around 2 or 3:00 A.M. to be picked up by the police and taken to the jail. Sometimes they would take me when I walked to the jail and other times I’d have to wait outside in the snow for 2 days until they were legally bound to take me. The last time I was there I wouldn’t go back to the foster home so having no beds and still years to go until I was 18 they sent me to a prison for children where at 16 I escaped. Before I left I asked how many times I had been there, they said 28. I had been in that jail 28 times and I had never committed a crime, never been charged with a crime and never read my rights because unlike a criminal, even a child criminal who has rights I was a ward of the court and therefore I had no rights at all.In 1973 unlike today, if a boy tried to tell of these things no one would listen. The court system destroyed my life. At any time I knew I could go to my father but I didn’t for 3 reasons. (1) I felt it was his responsibility to come to his son, not the other way around, (2) I thought if word of my life got out to the public the children of the hospital would die and I always said to myself, “One must suffer so many can live, (3) I was a stubborn, rebellious youth who said, “If nobody wants me than I can do it myself.” 22 years later I wrote a letter to my father telling him of my new son, I sent a picture of both of us and told him I forgave him. I sent the letter on Feb. 4th 1991, he was found dead of a heart attack on Feb. 6th 1991, In his hand they found a hand written letter and laying next to him on the floor was a small picture of a man holding his infant child.
    I was the last voice this man ever heard and the last face he ever saw had been of the son he left behind in exchange for wealth and fame.

    I have one goal and that’s to use what I’ve been through to help change the system. If I can get this heard in a federal court perhaps the name itself can bring change and give these children that of which they are entitled to, their heritage and medical background, this is the very least they are owed. By doing this maybe lives can be saved and changed. This has been my only reason for building the websites.

    Your words are the same words I speak each day, Our country is filled with with millions of children with no heritage, this must change. I only hope my story can someday assist in that change. If this can happen to me, the son of such a man, then it can and does happen to any child.

    Thank you for your dearest dedication to the unwanted.

    Sincerest Respects,

    Christopher